Q: Why is the Samajwadi Party's symbol 'Cycle'?
A: Because after a ban on English and use of computers, that's all we'll be able to afford.
Q: Why is the Congress party's symbol 'Hand'?
A: To remind Indians that our fate is forever in the hand of one family!
Q: Why is BJP Symbol 'Lotus'?
A: Lotus is the symbol of Sarawasti and learning. BJP will educate us through the wisdom of Varun Gandhi and Pravin Togadia.
Q: Why is Mayawati's symbol 'Elephant'?
A: It's a self portrait.
Q: Why is Jayalalitha's symbol 'Two leaves'?
A: Because that's what remained after Amma ate up all the fruit.
Q: Why is DMK's symbol 'Sun'?
A: So that Karunanidhi can justify wearing shades indoors.
Q: Why is Lalu's symbol 'Lantern'?
A: Because there's no electricity in Bihar.
Q: Why is CPM's symbol 'Hammer and Sickle'?
A: Because that's what you will be using if they come to power.
Q: Why is Sharad Pawar's symbol 'Clock'?
A: Because his time never seems to comes.
Q: Why is Shiv Sena's symbol 'Bow and Arrow'?
A: I can tell you, but then I'll have to shoot you!
Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JOKES. Show all posts
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Indian way of doing Business
The Indian way of doing Business
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China.
They go with a White House office to examine the fence.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, outraged says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China.
They go with a White House office to examine the fence.
The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".
The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, outraged says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
Married life revelations
Married life revelations
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
01. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
02. Life's Irony: It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
03. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
04. I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
05. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
06. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man.
07. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...
08. Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence - A Life sentence!
09. Marriage is when a man and woman become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
10. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
11. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
12. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
01. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
02. Life's Irony: It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
03. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
04. I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
05. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
06. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man.
07. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ...
08. Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence - A Life sentence!
09. Marriage is when a man and woman become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
10. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
11. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
12. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Very official love letter !
To,
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)
=
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)
=
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The Satyam Connection
Raju Raju? Yes, papa.
Missing assets? No, papa.
Unnecessarily trying to acquire a real estate company to save your skin?
No, papa.
Okay, show me your balance sheet!
Ha ha ha.
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